The housecat fraud

Something finally worth writing about.. Those human kittens that came in earlier? They came back again. Now they're feeding us and changing our litter, all that stuff, like the other humans that don't take any cats away do. And one of them likes petting me, talks to me a lot, blabbering nonsense in a high-pitched voice like all the kittens seem to like to do. Maybe she'd let me outside.

Probably not.

I can dream.

Okay, it wasn't really worth writing about. 

As I've nothing to blog about in the present, I may as well recall the past until the present becomes interesting. Ooh, that was a good line, somebody quote that. 

To jump right into the story, one day, when I was in the forest, I happened upon another cat, wandering through my territory. They had a collar, with a cute little bell and everything, so I bared my teeth and snarled at them to get out, thinking they were a lost little housecat who would run away if I said 'boo'.

He shrank back and widened his eyes, and I was immensely satisfied and assumed they would flee and I could return to hunting squirrels. For good measure, I stuck my muzzle right next to their face and did my best growl. 

They flashed their claws and hit my jaw, shoving my head aside, taking me by surprise, and leaving me with a bloody wound on my chin. For extra shame, they got in a few more admittedly good hits before I came to my senses and defended myself. It didn't work very well. They'd wounded my shoulder badly, and by the end of the fight I was too hurt to fight back at all, only limp away and know that I had been beaten.

Suffice it to say, I was slightly more polite to meek, lost housecats after that incident.

There were times when, in a fight with a stranger, I considered playing scared, as they did, using the element of surprise- But I'm much too proud to do that. It is, to me, a dishonest and cowardly thing to do, and I hold my honor above my health.

You cats think I should share some more of my old stories?