I'm not a kitten person

A kitten came into this place and promptly decided to 'make conversation', as in pester me. The conversation ensued roughly as follows:
Kitten: What's your name?
Kitten: Hello? What's your name?
Kitten: Are you deaf?
Kitten: I heard one of the humans say you were being 'adopted'.
Me: Did you?
Kitten: No. So you're not deaf?
Kitten: Where are you from?
Me: Outside.
Kitten: Ooh, where's that? What's it like?
Kitten: I heard my owner mention outside once. What's it like?
Me: Interesting.
Kitten: Outside or me?
Me: Outside. It's interesting.
Kitten: Interesting how?
Me: It's nice and quiet.
Eventually she stopped talking to me and started staring at me. All day.
Including now.
She's asking what all the buttons are for.
I was going to write about when I was younger and my house caught fire, but now I'm too busy trying to deter her from opening Minecraft. So much for-
SHE'S CLAWING MY TAIL.
-So much for blogging. I'm just going to get off before the humans come and find me unconscious with a kitten sitting on me playing video games.