More adventures

Apparently the dog's name is 'Butterscotch', which is ironic, considering the dog is black.
And this post is off to a roaring start!
The food dish here is shared by me, Precious, Oliver, and Butterscotch. It's sort of awkward. You can tell where everybody is on the social ladder by what order we eat in. First Oliver (fat and greedy), then Precious... Then me.
Then the dog. He goes last. I gotta give him credit... I've never met a more cowardly dog in my life.
This place is pretty nice. There's the main room, that the humans spend most of their time in (as well as Oliver, napping on the couches), all the normal rooms humans put in our houses, but the main feature of interest is the bathroom windows. They're sometimes open, and the screens are flimsy. All you have to do is claw a hole and you're outside. If the humans are trying to keep us inside, they're doing an awful job of it.
There's another house outside, just a short walk away from mine. It's full of cobwebs and dust and holes in the floor, and it smells of feral cats and milk, but I couldn't find anyone in it except a mouse.
The mouse didn't last long.
I heard something squeaking in the kitchen earlier, but unfortunately the indoor mice have already lived with Precious and Oliver for a while and have learned better to be wary of cats.. Although I'm sure Oliver isn't much in the hunting department.
There isn't much else to report, unless you wish for a detailed description of the couches or something.

Apology + Face reveal

I apologized to Precious yesterday, but she just looked at me funny and asked why I was apologizing to her. So I tried to apologize to Oliver, but the whole humble speech I'd planned came out sounding like "Sorry you used to live in my territory".
One of the humans opened the door then, so I slipped outside before Precious could comment.

Then it started snowing.
Nothing like a surprise blizzard to make your day better.

And now, for a grand finish:
Guess who this handsome chap is?

Soak it up. This is the only 'selfie' you're getting from me.
Paws are inconvenient for using human devices.

Peace out or whatever kittens are saying these days.

Outdoor Spring

Precious informed me during what wasn't supposed to be an argument that he whom I referred to as 'the other one' is actually called 'Oliver', and that he's 'a kind, mature old cat who never bothered anybody'. She also called me a couple things I don't think it's in good taste to repeat and told me rather angrily me that when the humans refill the food pile, I eat last.

So much for glorious kingdom of my own. You know how I mentioned earlier I value my honor above my health? I'm regretting that. Apologizing might be unavoidable. 

Maybe.

And I should probably stop picking fights with Oliver. 

On a better note- Neither of the other house residents like going outside, so I have the whole outdoors to myself. I can slip out whenever a human opens the door. It's still pretty chilly outside right now, but the snow is melting. In only around a month I can have a proper day outside without worrying about the cold.

The prey outside is coming out from its hiding places and reveling in the grass and dirt. I've caught a couple mice this month. Soon, I won't have to worry about eating last at the food dish. I won't eat there at all.

I'll eat mice.

That'll show her.

New Territory

I was adopted.

I haven't posted in so long because it took me a while to figure out this human's password... Also, I've been trying not to get shredded in my sleep.

There's two other cats in this house. Precious and the other one. Precious looks like a smaller version of Xena and she's the prettiest cat I've ever met. Sweet too. Spitting mad at me right now, I'll get to that in a minute.

The other one's her friend, I guess. He's chubby and orange.

Should probably backtrack... Those human kittens that came into the shelter a while ago, they took me to a new building in a cardboard cage. I stepped out and immediately knew that this was my new territory. A glorious paradise for me to conquer!

I started exploring. I went down the stairs, into a dark concrete basement containing the, erm, litterbox. I took a look around. That was when the orange cat came down out of nowhere.

Up until this point, I had assumed I was alone. We stared at each other for a moment. He then looked away and moved past me as if he owned the place. Like he was king of my new territory or something. That had to be stopped.

I flung myself at him. We fought for a while, a good satisfying fight like I hadn't had in a while. There was fur everywhere, and, I noticed with some pride, most of it was orange.

Then there was a yowl from the stairs. Precious came in and yelled at us to stop. I froze, staring at her, and the other one ran away.

It's a shame. Precious and I, we got off on the wrong foot. I think she expects me to apologize, but I can't, nor can I accept that she's friends with that fat, smug... Creature.

As for the other residents of the territory... They're surprisingly okay. Four humans (two of them adults, two of them kittens, one of the kittens a fluctuating maniac who at times will try to put me in the bathtub or trap me in a pillowcase and one of the adults large and scary, all of them awful at keeping me indoors) and a dog... Upon first seeing him I prepared to flee, but he seemed unhostile... Even scared of me. I think we're friends now, but I can't understand a word he barks, so I can't know for sure.

I think I picked a fitting title. That's all for now. I'll try and post more later. The orange one's sitting in what I thought I made clear was my chair, and I need to go teach him his place... Again. *sigh*

I'm not a kitten person

A kitten came into this place and promptly decided to 'make conversation', as in pester me. The conversation ensued roughly as follows:
Kitten: What's your name?
Kitten: Hello? What's your name?
Kitten: Are you deaf?
Kitten: I heard one of the humans say you were being 'adopted'.
Me: Did you?
Kitten: No. So you're not deaf?
Kitten: Where are you from?
Me: Outside.
Kitten: Ooh, where's that? What's it like?
Kitten: I heard my owner mention outside once. What's it like?
Me: Interesting.
Kitten: Outside or me?
Me: Outside. It's interesting.
Kitten: Interesting how?
Me: It's nice and quiet.
Eventually she stopped talking to me and started staring at me. All day.
Including now.
She's asking what all the buttons are for.
I was going to write about when I was younger and my house caught fire, but now I'm too busy trying to deter her from opening Minecraft. So much for-
SHE'S CLAWING MY TAIL.
-So much for blogging. I'm just going to get off before the humans come and find me unconscious with a kitten sitting on me playing video games.

My First Hunt

Nothing much to write about here.
I'll just write up another story, I guess.

When I was a kitten, I lived as a housecat, with my mother, Asphalt, and my litter-mates. My humans didn't care much if we were outside or inside, and so my first taste of the wild was barely after I'd opened my eyes. My mother decided one day she would show us the outdoors, and so out we went (well, out she dragged us) into the grassy yard.
I should explain something. When I had seen the grass previously, from a cozy window seat, I had assumed it would be like paper, stiff and with sharp edges, and that walking through the yard would be similar to walking across a sea of pain and red-sliced paws from paper cuts. I shut my eyes and grimaced as my mother put me down on the grass- And then opened them, surprised, because the ground was in reality soft and slightly bouncy from the wet spring.
All my fears were vanquished. The daydreams of foxes and badgers turned to butterflies and rabbits, and the terrifyingly big, confusing outdoors instantly turned into a wonderful home. Obviously, nothing could possibly be wrong in this wonderful place where the green paper blades were soft.
A lump of snow that was not yet melted caught my attention next. I padded up to it, enthralled with every new thing I saw, and walked onto it. I then discovered it was freezing cold and ran traumatized back to Asphalt, who seemed mildly amused with my wailing.
Much more discoveries and surprises followed, and after an exciting journey, which thoroughly tired me out, it turned out I still had one more new thing to experience, despite it seeming like we had seen everything there could possibly be in the outdoors.
A mouse.
As Asphalt nudged and prodded us sleepy kittens back towards the house, I heard a strange squeaking. I conjured up all sorts of villainous things it could be, before realizing it must be the fabled 'mouse' my mother had described in the tales she told us as we fell asleep. She detailed how great hunters would sneak towards the mouse, becoming invisible to their prey, and, with a great leap, win their prize. This was my chance to taste the fabled creature! I fell into a crouch and instinctively crept towards the sound. Mother must have somehow understood what I was attempting, for she made no move to get me back on track towards the house.
Time trickled by. The mouse made no move to get away. It did not see me. I had become a true hunter, harnessing the ability to become invisible to their prey, silent as the snow but far deadlier.
In my excitement and pride at my incredible newfound hunting ability, I did not notice the twig until my paw had already come down on it. I froze at the sound of it cracking- So did the mouse, stopping and looking around. It saw me, and, upon realizing how close it had come to death, fled.
I would like to clarify that it had not come very close. A kit on its first day outside of its home is not a good hunter, and the chances of me hitting the mouse when I pounced were thin as a blade of grass, with the chances of me actually killing it even slimmer. But in my inexperienced eyes, I was a brave hunter who had narrowly missed a kill. I blamed it on bad luck and trotted inside, more than ready for a nap.
Now I'm in about the opposite situation.. I can hunt perfectly well, but there aren't any mice!

The housecat fraud

Something finally worth writing about.. Those human kittens that came in earlier? They came back again. Now they're feeding us and changing our litter, all that stuff, like the other humans that don't take any cats away do. And one of them likes petting me, talks to me a lot, blabbering nonsense in a high-pitched voice like all the kittens seem to like to do. Maybe she'd let me outside.

Probably not.

I can dream.

Okay, it wasn't really worth writing about. 

As I've nothing to blog about in the present, I may as well recall the past until the present becomes interesting. Ooh, that was a good line, somebody quote that. 

To jump right into the story, one day, when I was in the forest, I happened upon another cat, wandering through my territory. They had a collar, with a cute little bell and everything, so I bared my teeth and snarled at them to get out, thinking they were a lost little housecat who would run away if I said 'boo'.

He shrank back and widened his eyes, and I was immensely satisfied and assumed they would flee and I could return to hunting squirrels. For good measure, I stuck my muzzle right next to their face and did my best growl. 

They flashed their claws and hit my jaw, shoving my head aside, taking me by surprise, and leaving me with a bloody wound on my chin. For extra shame, they got in a few more admittedly good hits before I came to my senses and defended myself. It didn't work very well. They'd wounded my shoulder badly, and by the end of the fight I was too hurt to fight back at all, only limp away and know that I had been beaten.

Suffice it to say, I was slightly more polite to meek, lost housecats after that incident.

There were times when, in a fight with a stranger, I considered playing scared, as they did, using the element of surprise- But I'm much too proud to do that. It is, to me, a dishonest and cowardly thing to do, and I hold my honor above my health.

You cats think I should share some more of my old stories?